Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
