9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
