Screwed.edu
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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