Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
