He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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