Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
