Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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