she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
