My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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