Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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