I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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