dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
