guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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