oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
