I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
