once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
