Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
