Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
