pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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