is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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