3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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