My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
