New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
