how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize