i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
