It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
