Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
