oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
