He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
