Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
