Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
