he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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