hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
