i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
