I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
