Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
