i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
