Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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