A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
