you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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