well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
