I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
