i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.