like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.