I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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