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Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
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