Have you finally orgasmed yet?
zippers are such a cool invention
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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