Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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