his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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