just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
