We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize