IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
