Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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