She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
