I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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