I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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