Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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