Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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