He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
