yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
