Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.