haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.