billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.