Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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